There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize