Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
