Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
