Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
