I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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