If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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