Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my sisters under your porch take her home
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
