now i know why i became what i already was.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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