you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
