She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
