Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize