So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The power of my boobs compel you
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
