Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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