so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
