Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
