OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
