she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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