Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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