I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
