I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
