you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
