marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
