Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.