This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch