So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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