I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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