She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
