I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize