Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
