That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm bleeding and have questions
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
