I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
