I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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