The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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