giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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