HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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