$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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