im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
