we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize