it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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