idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
