I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
