Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
