I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
