Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize