in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize