I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize