so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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