we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize