redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
