What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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