Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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