yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
