I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
