Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
