Dual....:-)
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
