I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
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This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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