Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize