end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just cropdusted the office
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
