she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
