If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize